Q: How would you characterize Fatima’s relationship to her body in The Body’s Defenses Against Itself?
A: From Fatima’s memories of her childhood, I got the sense that the judgemental nature caused by her shame doesn’t stop at other people, it also affects her own ego. The cycle of too much sweating resulting in shame and embarrassment due to her peers and thus more anxiety highlights how little control she has over her own body.
From my perspective, in addition to being shamed about her anxiety induced and amplified hyperhidrosis, Fatima really seems like she’s dealing with more behind the scenes. Perhaps due to the fact that she couldn’t control her sweating, she wanted to control a different aspect of her body, her weight. From her longlasting grudge against Christinia, we know that her non-chubbiness is something she takes pride in.
While recounting when her body started bleeding again at age 33, Fatima thinks “I try to believe the bleeding is just part of the purgative process, the toxins pouring out to make me new inside, like the sweat is supposed to do in hot yoga, like a release after a large meal.” (Thompson-Spires 62). The words she uses, purgative, release, etc. allude to her struggle with her weight. I believe Fatima is bulimic- which is why she talks about purging herself after meals, though subtly in the context of her endometriosis. Additionally, I think it’s relevant that she’s taught herself to ignore the pain, somehow convincing herself that her body bleeding is actually good for her and not incredibly alarming.
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